Making friends with the night

Until I got sober at the end of 2019, sleep was something I had always struggled with.  I spent years experiencing 3am wakings and often, this is when my day would start, especially if I had a 5am alarm set for work.

When I was in my late 20’s and studying for my degree, I would sleepwalk and sleep eat and could often be found talking to the contents of the fridge at 3am.  I was even referred to a sleep clinic, but the appointment never came and I just accepted that this was a part of who I was.

In my early 30’s, when I came off a decade of very strong prescription medication, things really ramped up for me.  I would regularly have night terrors and sleep paralysis and would often wake myself (and my housemate) up screaming as the walls closed in on me. My neural pathways did not know what to do with themselves for many years as my mind and body re calibrated.

And then of course, when my drinking kicked up a notch as I navigated a busy corporate job, raising a family and unpicking decades of unprocessed trauma, I would regularly use alcohol to help me fall asleep. Sometimes in the wee small hours, a large shot of neat gin would be the only thing that would knock me out and back into a sleepy haze until morning.

 Sober sleep, especially in the first few months of sobriety (once you are over those bumpy first few weeks) is the gift that keeps on giving. 

After decades of poor sleep, it was such a joy to go to bed, close my eyes, fall asleep and wake up 8 hours later feeling energised and refreshed. 

 These days, my sleep is mostly good, but I do notice the 3am wakings creep back in if:

·      I eat after 7pm

·      Eat junk food at any point in the day

·      I haven’t moved my body

·      I fall asleep, fully clothed on the sofa with my contact lenses in! 

For me, a good bedtime routine looks like, no food after 7pm, a warm salt bath, magnesium sleep butter on my feet, mouth taped and an organic sleep blend of essential oils in the diffuser by my bed and a couple of drops on my pillow. That will usually guarantee a beautiful night of deep rest.

And, if for whatever reason, sleep is eluding me, that is okay.  I get up, make a cacao, light a candle and meditate, or journal or play some piano or sound bowls, or listen to some healing frequencies and trust that I will have all the energy I need for the day ahead.  When the moon is full and planets are activated, sleep can feel quite out of reach for me, and so I have learnt to make friends with the darkness of the night. Everything moves in cycles, and that includes our sleep.